I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
he was CRYING into my vagina
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
