I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
