My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
