Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
