i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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