Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
