You're completely useless in the revolution.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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