if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
