she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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