don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
