i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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