I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Randomize
