Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
