my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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