I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
