I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
