you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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