She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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