well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
