Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
