you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize
