Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Randomize
