just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
