Where did you get a picture of my penis
i just google imaged poop.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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