Just mADE A PArabola og urine
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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