Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
