proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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