i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
