I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
