Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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