He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
