you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
