R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Randomize
