If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
