Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
and she was petting her beer can
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Randomize
