she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
