its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
my shit smells like andre
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
