My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
