i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
