I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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