Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize