Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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