i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
