If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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