He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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