These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
