the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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