I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
