I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
