How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
