garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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